A flurry of alphabets.

Winter has made its presence remarkably felt this year.
There is only a day left for 2008. We shall soon be ushering 2009.
I have not placed up an entry for a few weeks now.
There is lots in my mind, especially emotions, that I would like to pitter patter out on my keyboard. Yet, I do not think that I have the sanity and am not thinking logically enough in order to do so. I am in a mess. Always have been at the year's end; but more so this year after what happened in recent weeks, and happening now.

I could not resist the temptation of only putting up an entry when I know what I would like to type about. Currently, it really is a flurry of words and sentences which my mind is processing.

I have been writing, fiddling and meddling about with stuff. Not so much drawing or sketching or painting, which I have done so in the past - boy, do I miss doing artwork; and then get angry and annoyed because I suck in art. And no thanks, this has been reminded time and time when I visit the Europe's capitals of art.

Anyway, back to what I said in the previous paragraph. I've been doing all those except for typing. Been browsing through website, reading nonsensical stuff, drifted away by news...I am really, just in a state of blankness.

Before I write up what's bothering, I shall just blog about what happen most recently. I went to celebrate a friend's birthday bash, which was really good. Nice to see people. Yet, felt a little disconnected. Perhaps it was the late-night factor. I hope it was anyway.

Then, I just got back from a short winter trip with 2 lovely friends and L~. That was nice. Sadly, I got a little cold, and might have caused L~ to be ill at the moment..when he should, really, be enjoying the best ending for 2008 with his badminton mates in Holland. I feel awful for causing him to be so ill. Yet, I am also clouded by an awful feeling of being alone...to end 2008. and to see 2009.

Should be doing work, prepare for exams. Not happening. My emotions are flurrying. Negative ones mostly. Yet, its really just fleeting and flurrying. Nothing in particular which are having a significant impact. The impact is the flurrying feint negatives. I hope you understand what I am trying to describe.

Have you ever...
Love somebody so much, yet still able to feel hurt;
Feel crushed when you can't make him smile and laugh as much;
Admire who he is when he's around his friends, yet;
Wonder why he isn't showing this side of him when he's with you;
Ponder on this confusion..and feel alone, lost.

There is a song i would like to post here, but its an old song, and i can't seem to find a clear clip to it.

Its called Open arms - by Journey.
Lying beside you, here in the dark
Feeling your heart beat with mine
Softly you whisper, you're so sincere
How could our love be so blind
We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are by my side
So now I come to you, with open arms
Nothing to hide, believe what I say
So here I am with open arms
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me
Open arms
Living without you, living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you, wanting you near
How much I wanted you home
But now that you've come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay.

Journey - Open Arms
Uploaded by jpdc11