My dilemma

It has been a while since I last made an entry here.
There has been just too many things going on, and several things that I would rather keep personal.

Blogging is so much more than describing one's life or opinion. Personally, it is a mean of expression, and reflection.

I have been in a very volatile state of late. There has been so much going on, that I wonder if I can keep up with all of these. Indeed, I merely need to focus on the task at hand, ONE AT A TIME, mind you, and neglect all other self-doubts and worries. Easier said than done.

I believe that I have surpassed myself in this past month and a half. I do wonder if it would be a learning curve. I hope that it does, in many ways. However, at this point in time, I have yet to see this side of things clearly. Perhaps in time, I would. I believe that I will. Sometimes, when dealt with a cards like this, all one can do is patiently and calmly wait for time to pass to view the future. This sounds rather silly, and doesn't make sense, does it? Oddly, it is exactly how I am viewing matters.

I believe that I can stay positive, be as righteous as possible, and as confident in what's left in me. However, there is this other side of me, who worries, who considers too much what others might think or perceive, who cannot accept certain things, who is pessimistic.

Life is a balance. Yin and yang, I truly believe in. Sometimes, the balance is tipped, sometimes more so than others, and sometimes, longer too. Thus, similarly, currently, I am being on this fluctuating scale of extreme ends.

I want to be myself, but what if there are others who want be to be different? What if I make decisions which do not go down well with others? Where do I draw the line? This line will never be clear, or straight.

Oh, and I seriously need to be more competent. Gimme T4 please. And moments of mania.