Beautiful.



Am currently living through the daily tests in life. There are so many incorrect happenings, gone unseen, and others ignored. But the greatest hurdle for me this year has arrived, predictable. As I have said, it was predictable, so I guess I can face it. But what is straining for a break is that I might have disappointed someone. It's just me. I want to be able to shine in his eyes, and be someone..someone he can be proud of. I have failed myself in that terms, because I was not able to do that.

At this point, I don't know how to shape my future. Yes, my nearest future is still malleable, and it depends on me, on how i want to shape this path towards that sketchy and uncertain more distant future. I don't know, I am confused, and I have yet to sit down properly to foresee. I need a place of solitude and tranquility, of comfort and freedom.

Sigh. I like to know what I want. I used to know what I want, and I would strive for it. Not only to make sure I get it, but also, to get the best and go on to better it. Now, I don't know. I am unsure. I do not like this uncertainty.

This is where I am alone. And being an individual of my own, I somewhat have greater strength. But when I fall, I will fall hard. Perhaps I might be able to pick myself up. But I don't think that I would pick myself up into the same situation. Sadly, I am only confined to this situation. What am I to do, I question myself.