Breathe and help me get away
Steal me, carry me and lets sway
Into a world, happy and with glee
Where we'll chuckle and giggle
Come any time and day
Being there for each other
Come what may.
Seeking to understand
To look into each other's eye
Making up after each fight
Creating happiness by night
Don't go away
Open the door and lets go together
Just as how we saw it back that summer
Feeling it was meant to be forever
Wipe away the tears
Replace them with kisses
Wipe away the fears
Revisit them with cuddles
The short bursts of happy times
Moments to cherish not to part
All achieved even though it was hard.
We've gone through so much
more than what others would have
In a short span of such
Struggles seemed so worthwhile
For what it was building inside
A wish for one more day
One more conversation sight to sight
Wishing it is never too late
To make it up
or for one more kiss goodnight.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Airway-Breathing-Circulation
Put a Scotsman, an Indian and a Malaysian girl together for anaesthesics and you’ll end up getting a combustion of laughing gas.
p/s: don't forget to add in the Scottish accent~!
NS (anaesth) to Patient: Don’t worry. We are here to calm you down and put you at ease. We got a live one here. If he doesn’t work, then we’ll try the drugs. They’re prettier and more reliable than this ugly one (referring to Scotsman).
In recovery:
Scotsman to SN: She tried to kiss me! I wouldn’t let her!
SL: O.o
Scotsman again: Hahaha. She did! She did!
(After a few minutes pass by .... and he walks past a few people)
Scotsman: You all should stop looking at me like that. Its not professional. Ok, I’m going for a wee break..!
SL et al: HAHAHAHA..
In the aisle..with a CT:
Scotsman: Its her fault that didn’t work properly
Indian: Yes it is. It is all her fault
SL to CT: I’m the one getting the blame today CT.
CT: It is like that. We gotta gang up some time.
SL: NOW is a good time.
------
Scotsman also said:
SL doesn't have a heart (in a joking way) Women don't have a heart. I did an ECG.. all i found was a replacement brick heart.. (laughs)
SL: Well, I wonder who (which gender) stole it..and never returned.
..I didn't know if I was joking or saying from the absent heart
p/s: don't forget to add in the Scottish accent~!
NS (anaesth) to Patient: Don’t worry. We are here to calm you down and put you at ease. We got a live one here. If he doesn’t work, then we’ll try the drugs. They’re prettier and more reliable than this ugly one (referring to Scotsman).
In recovery:
Scotsman to SN: She tried to kiss me! I wouldn’t let her!
SL: O.o
Scotsman again: Hahaha. She did! She did!
(After a few minutes pass by .... and he walks past a few people)
Scotsman: You all should stop looking at me like that. Its not professional. Ok, I’m going for a wee break..!
SL et al: HAHAHAHA..
In the aisle..with a CT:
Scotsman: Its her fault that didn’t work properly
Indian: Yes it is. It is all her fault
SL to CT: I’m the one getting the blame today CT.
CT: It is like that. We gotta gang up some time.
SL: NOW is a good time.
------
Scotsman also said:
SL doesn't have a heart (in a joking way) Women don't have a heart. I did an ECG.. all i found was a replacement brick heart.. (laughs)
SL: Well, I wonder who (which gender) stole it..and never returned.
..I didn't know if I was joking or saying from the absent heart
Thursday, January 28, 2010
crucial, essential, valuable
Written on 26th Jan 2010; Tuesday
What is important to you? Is having a career important? What about being able to do what you want to do and what you like to do? Perhaps to be ambitious and marrying those two together? What if you have many likings and hobbies, pastimes and leisure, beyond the workplace? What about friends beyond colleagues? I do not forsee it being an easy task to have all these.
Are relationships important to you? Is there someone else whom you care for more than yourself? Who and what do you prioritise in and for? Do you think about the past which is gone, or the future which is uncertain? I know of people who outline their life and create tick boxes to signify milestones in their lives. I know of people who do it carpe diem. I know of a few who had the former and changed to the latter and I know of those who did it vice versa. What made them change? Was it a person? Was it a single experience? Was it time? Or is it more of something that we can point our thoughts to scientific reasoning? For example, an organic condition on how our brains are wired, how synapses occur and to the extent of cellular changes towards thoughts with action and reaction. How our hormonal levels change and how the changes will affect thoughts. Ever wanted to sky dive or bungee jump but not anymore?
I’d like to share yet another set of phrases: "There is no mystery to happiness. The happy man does not look back. He does not look ahead. He lives in the present. But the present cannot deliver one thing: meaning. If he wants meaning, a man must reinhabit his past, however dark, and live for the future, however uncertain." It also adds that nature dangles it to us and we are to choose only one.
Nothing is ever black and white. (That’s why we have lawyers). Perhaps we seek for ‘meaning’ to appreciate the present moment of happiness to a greater extent. Perhaps we seek for ‘meaning’ for its enlightenment gives us happiness. Perhaps it is worthwhile to go through the darkness and uncertainty if happiness is found. Ah, the magic of “hope”.
As a medical, I do feel the pressure to be a good and competent doctor. I feel that there is a responsibility to care – to the best of my abilities, and beyond. It can take a toll. People are a group of individuals, and that’s who they are: individuals. Similar treatment with potentially different outcomes. Someone once told me, that it is okay to aim to make just one person happy in a day. Cumulatively, that would mean 365 people are going to be happy in a year. Shall I add, that is, if it is one different person daily. If all of us do the same, would it make the world a happier place? (Secretly, I’ll be content for the ability to make one same person happy)
Why do we wake up every day? Children wake up to play, students to go to school, adults to work, the retired to do some tai-chi and the old to see it all. Perhaps.
This is generalisation. Why do YOU wake up every day?
I wake up to the scent of a loved one, the aroma of coffee and indulgences. I wake up to get ready to say hello to the break of dawn, to smile to the rising sun, to breath the air of life, to allow my senses to roam free and discover new territories. I wake up to feel happy, to feel that I can do something today, something beneficial – hopefully for others. I wake up to hear greetings of good morning, to pass them on after adding an extra touch to it, to share wishes, thoughts and ideas; to care. I wake up to be thankful for another day of happiness. I wake up not wanting an argument. I wake up not wanting to be less than optimistic. I wake up knowing that there are too many out there fighting for just another day and it would be a blessing to get a day like mine. I wake up to smile.
I am glad to be able to do this in spite of – looming exams, troubling mind, rumbling emotions and being 24. Yes, the latter is important.
I hope as you are reading this, you see something beautiful in your mind. Go on, go out there and make someone happy. You’d be surprised on how immeasurable the happiness will reflect on you.
p/s: Smile.
What is important to you? Is having a career important? What about being able to do what you want to do and what you like to do? Perhaps to be ambitious and marrying those two together? What if you have many likings and hobbies, pastimes and leisure, beyond the workplace? What about friends beyond colleagues? I do not forsee it being an easy task to have all these.
Are relationships important to you? Is there someone else whom you care for more than yourself? Who and what do you prioritise in and for? Do you think about the past which is gone, or the future which is uncertain? I know of people who outline their life and create tick boxes to signify milestones in their lives. I know of people who do it carpe diem. I know of a few who had the former and changed to the latter and I know of those who did it vice versa. What made them change? Was it a person? Was it a single experience? Was it time? Or is it more of something that we can point our thoughts to scientific reasoning? For example, an organic condition on how our brains are wired, how synapses occur and to the extent of cellular changes towards thoughts with action and reaction. How our hormonal levels change and how the changes will affect thoughts. Ever wanted to sky dive or bungee jump but not anymore?
I’d like to share yet another set of phrases: "There is no mystery to happiness. The happy man does not look back. He does not look ahead. He lives in the present. But the present cannot deliver one thing: meaning. If he wants meaning, a man must reinhabit his past, however dark, and live for the future, however uncertain." It also adds that nature dangles it to us and we are to choose only one.
Nothing is ever black and white. (That’s why we have lawyers). Perhaps we seek for ‘meaning’ to appreciate the present moment of happiness to a greater extent. Perhaps we seek for ‘meaning’ for its enlightenment gives us happiness. Perhaps it is worthwhile to go through the darkness and uncertainty if happiness is found. Ah, the magic of “hope”.
As a medical, I do feel the pressure to be a good and competent doctor. I feel that there is a responsibility to care – to the best of my abilities, and beyond. It can take a toll. People are a group of individuals, and that’s who they are: individuals. Similar treatment with potentially different outcomes. Someone once told me, that it is okay to aim to make just one person happy in a day. Cumulatively, that would mean 365 people are going to be happy in a year. Shall I add, that is, if it is one different person daily. If all of us do the same, would it make the world a happier place? (Secretly, I’ll be content for the ability to make one same person happy)
Why do we wake up every day? Children wake up to play, students to go to school, adults to work, the retired to do some tai-chi and the old to see it all. Perhaps.
This is generalisation. Why do YOU wake up every day?
I wake up to the scent of a loved one, the aroma of coffee and indulgences. I wake up to get ready to say hello to the break of dawn, to smile to the rising sun, to breath the air of life, to allow my senses to roam free and discover new territories. I wake up to feel happy, to feel that I can do something today, something beneficial – hopefully for others. I wake up to hear greetings of good morning, to pass them on after adding an extra touch to it, to share wishes, thoughts and ideas; to care. I wake up to be thankful for another day of happiness. I wake up not wanting an argument. I wake up not wanting to be less than optimistic. I wake up knowing that there are too many out there fighting for just another day and it would be a blessing to get a day like mine. I wake up to smile.
I am glad to be able to do this in spite of – looming exams, troubling mind, rumbling emotions and being 24. Yes, the latter is important.
I hope as you are reading this, you see something beautiful in your mind. Go on, go out there and make someone happy. You’d be surprised on how immeasurable the happiness will reflect on you.
p/s: Smile.
Malaysian Milestone.
Taken from www.dailychilli.com
Panty-less warning for Valentine's day
By Edward Rajendra
Love birds are in danger of being trapped by the snoop squads of the Selangor Islamic Affairs Department (JAIS) this Valentine's Day, but girls who go 'commando' (panty-less) may just get away with it.
While female students in institutes of higher learning in Selangor are being encouraged by word of mouth or via the grapevine, electronic or otherwise, about not wearing panties on that day to express their love for their boyfriends, the JAIS officers are all worked up over these deviant acts.
Jais director Datuk Mohamed Khusrin Munawi said he was disgusted by the promotion of such immoral activities.
"Muslims must understand that Valentine’s Day is not for them. We will not allow Muslim students to be taken in by such celebrations that deviate from the teachings of Islam.
"At this moment, we are unable to determine the source of the ‘no-panties movement’, but those encouraging such a culture are irresponsible," he added.
However, two students in their 20s from Shah Alam, who gave their names as Ummi and Melissa, said they were aware of the “no-panties movement”.
"I feel it is a personal matter,” said Ummi with a smile.
"Valentine’s Day is a good time to express one’s love."
"And, what we use or don’t use is our right, our freedom. But we will do what is right. It’s a new world now."
Khusrin said Jais officials would be checking budget hotels, malls and parks throughout Selangor on Feb 14 to ensure that Muslims behave themselves.
"If we find unmarried couples together, they could be charged with committing khalwat (close proximity)," he said after a meeting at the state secretariat building in Shah Alam.
He said lamps in public parks will be turned on to deter couples from using such areas for amorous interludes.
"We also advise parents to ensure that their children are at home."
"We will also check restaurants that offer candle-light dinners, as these often lead to possible sexual activities in budget hotels."
It is not known how a girl who is not wearing panties could be singled out.
Illustration by Zulhaimi bin Baharuddin
Published Jan 28 2010
Panty-less warning for Valentine's day
By Edward Rajendra
Love birds are in danger of being trapped by the snoop squads of the Selangor Islamic Affairs Department (JAIS) this Valentine's Day, but girls who go 'commando' (panty-less) may just get away with it.
While female students in institutes of higher learning in Selangor are being encouraged by word of mouth or via the grapevine, electronic or otherwise, about not wearing panties on that day to express their love for their boyfriends, the JAIS officers are all worked up over these deviant acts.
Jais director Datuk Mohamed Khusrin Munawi said he was disgusted by the promotion of such immoral activities.
"Muslims must understand that Valentine’s Day is not for them. We will not allow Muslim students to be taken in by such celebrations that deviate from the teachings of Islam.
"At this moment, we are unable to determine the source of the ‘no-panties movement’, but those encouraging such a culture are irresponsible," he added.
However, two students in their 20s from Shah Alam, who gave their names as Ummi and Melissa, said they were aware of the “no-panties movement”.
"I feel it is a personal matter,” said Ummi with a smile.
"Valentine’s Day is a good time to express one’s love."
"And, what we use or don’t use is our right, our freedom. But we will do what is right. It’s a new world now."
Khusrin said Jais officials would be checking budget hotels, malls and parks throughout Selangor on Feb 14 to ensure that Muslims behave themselves.
"If we find unmarried couples together, they could be charged with committing khalwat (close proximity)," he said after a meeting at the state secretariat building in Shah Alam.
He said lamps in public parks will be turned on to deter couples from using such areas for amorous interludes.
"We also advise parents to ensure that their children are at home."
"We will also check restaurants that offer candle-light dinners, as these often lead to possible sexual activities in budget hotels."
It is not known how a girl who is not wearing panties could be singled out.
Illustration by Zulhaimi bin Baharuddin
Published Jan 28 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Big Bad Bowels
I was meant to write about a surprise finding last week but never got the chance to do so. I am, afterall, a rather busy girl. (Don't laugh!)
Well, what happened last week was that I got quite a big surprise when I attended a surgical teaching at 8am - Yup, surgical teaching starts dark and early, and yes, I am doing my medicine block not surgical. Anyway, not very many turned up. Attendees were meant to be consultants, registrars and house officers. As I recall, only 1 consultant was there, 1 registrar, 3-4 house officers and 3 medical students, including myself.
Oh, the surprise. I have not forgotten about that one. It is that I have just met the youngest consultant surgeon thus far! I am not sure if he is really that young, or is looking young. I perceived his age at 28-30, only because I know how long it takes, minimum, to train up to be a surgeon. If I hadn't known who he was, I would have guessed that he was a house officer who is 25. No kidding. Have I shed upon you my bewilderment and amazement yet?!?!?
Anyway, the topic was interesting too. Literally. It was about fluid management and said multiple times to be a 'dry' topic. Funny eh? I think so anyway! Hah. I thought fluid management was a very interesting topic. I don't have a clear understanding on this topic and have taken this topic on board personally to learn it in the past few months too, so it was very nice to be briefed on it. Oh, fyi and btw, there are new guidelines out there for management of fluids to you nerdys out there!
The consultant intercepted the registrar's presentation several times and asked us questions too - mainly directed at the house officers. However, there were times when he opened the questions too. Nice and interactive. Me likey. Best part is, he was very encouraging, and gave time for the audience to think, or gather the courage to speak out. I think that this is a very important thing to do and I hope to be able to do similarly in future. Sometimes, people tend to ask questions and have little patience to actually give a chance for others to answer. It is because that they know the answer and think that is 'easy' and simply don't have the patience. It makes teaching and learning so much more exciting this way.
I wish I had more confidence in answering the questions. And I wish my mind would be sharper and be able to pick the apt words instead of a flurry of descriptions to that particular word. Nonetheless, kudos to me, because I managed to answer a question right - when a house officer hadn't got it quite right. =D yay! brownie points for me. Oh, and he also mentioned a practise which is ongoing because it is a hand-me-down like thing, i.e consultants telling junior doctors how to do things according to their preference and likings. It is true that these are generally the older consultants with decades of experience and practise. Then he said, he is one of the younger and newer surgeons. Haha. I am probably not describing the situation like it is, but take my word for it, it created a funny moment for me. Thus, I shall coin this young consultant a "neosurgeon"
All said and done, above all, with all these thoughts running through me, I was smiling throughout this entire teaching session... =) giggling away almost. Its just something about learning new stuff and perhaps, surgical related?
So, a week later...
This neosurgeon consultant gave a presentation during the grand round. Pure brillance. I have to mention, he is a colorectal surgeon. It was definitely skimmed to the brim. I think there is so much going on beyond what was presented. Exactly like how skimmed milk is made. There is the soil and fertiliser for the grass, the cows who graze on them, the milk produced, the way it is being supplied, the process of pasteurising it, churning it etc until it reaches the shelf of consumers, sold by the pints (P/S: 1 pint of semi-skimmed is 45 pence in Tesco).
After listening to what he presented, a realisation came upon me. I realised one of the factors how he reached where he is at now so quickly. That said, I am only guessing his age based on appearance. Definitely young. I do wonder..if there are any other similar paths. Not impossible given current directions of surgery here - as far as I can understand and see (its not very much). Have I piqued your interest into the topic presented yet? It was on laparoscopic colorectal resection. For curious minds out there, first performed in the US of A in 1991 (his data, I never double-checked).
One thing mentioned is FOB testing and F/U with colonoscopy to detect colorectal ca. Ironically, I just came across a recently published article (published 10 days ago) that colonoscopy only reduces the cancer risk in the left side. That's only one paper. I did not do, nor am I planning to, read up on other related publications. Right (pun intended), I'd like to say that thoughts about how much in depth that a medical student has to know are cropping into mind now. Its fascinating, but it would not help me pass the exams. And I am concerned. Sigh. However, I shall leave that for another time.
P/S: I also had another amazing teaching from another colorectal surgeon - on hernias. From embryology right up to complications! Wicked! And he has not performed a hernia op in the past 15 years.
P P/S: I managed to answer a question from another-nother surgeon and he mentioned that no one had managed to answer that particular question in the past 10 years! Woop-woop! Credits to me again. Little boosters in order to proceed with life that I so direly need. =DDDD
Well, what happened last week was that I got quite a big surprise when I attended a surgical teaching at 8am - Yup, surgical teaching starts dark and early, and yes, I am doing my medicine block not surgical. Anyway, not very many turned up. Attendees were meant to be consultants, registrars and house officers. As I recall, only 1 consultant was there, 1 registrar, 3-4 house officers and 3 medical students, including myself.
Oh, the surprise. I have not forgotten about that one. It is that I have just met the youngest consultant surgeon thus far! I am not sure if he is really that young, or is looking young. I perceived his age at 28-30, only because I know how long it takes, minimum, to train up to be a surgeon. If I hadn't known who he was, I would have guessed that he was a house officer who is 25. No kidding. Have I shed upon you my bewilderment and amazement yet?!?!?
Anyway, the topic was interesting too. Literally. It was about fluid management and said multiple times to be a 'dry' topic. Funny eh? I think so anyway! Hah. I thought fluid management was a very interesting topic. I don't have a clear understanding on this topic and have taken this topic on board personally to learn it in the past few months too, so it was very nice to be briefed on it. Oh, fyi and btw, there are new guidelines out there for management of fluids to you nerdys out there!
The consultant intercepted the registrar's presentation several times and asked us questions too - mainly directed at the house officers. However, there were times when he opened the questions too. Nice and interactive. Me likey. Best part is, he was very encouraging, and gave time for the audience to think, or gather the courage to speak out. I think that this is a very important thing to do and I hope to be able to do similarly in future. Sometimes, people tend to ask questions and have little patience to actually give a chance for others to answer. It is because that they know the answer and think that is 'easy' and simply don't have the patience. It makes teaching and learning so much more exciting this way.
I wish I had more confidence in answering the questions. And I wish my mind would be sharper and be able to pick the apt words instead of a flurry of descriptions to that particular word. Nonetheless, kudos to me, because I managed to answer a question right - when a house officer hadn't got it quite right. =D yay! brownie points for me. Oh, and he also mentioned a practise which is ongoing because it is a hand-me-down like thing, i.e consultants telling junior doctors how to do things according to their preference and likings. It is true that these are generally the older consultants with decades of experience and practise. Then he said, he is one of the younger and newer surgeons. Haha. I am probably not describing the situation like it is, but take my word for it, it created a funny moment for me. Thus, I shall coin this young consultant a "neosurgeon"
All said and done, above all, with all these thoughts running through me, I was smiling throughout this entire teaching session... =) giggling away almost. Its just something about learning new stuff and perhaps, surgical related?
So, a week later...
This neosurgeon consultant gave a presentation during the grand round. Pure brillance. I have to mention, he is a colorectal surgeon. It was definitely skimmed to the brim. I think there is so much going on beyond what was presented. Exactly like how skimmed milk is made. There is the soil and fertiliser for the grass, the cows who graze on them, the milk produced, the way it is being supplied, the process of pasteurising it, churning it etc until it reaches the shelf of consumers, sold by the pints (P/S: 1 pint of semi-skimmed is 45 pence in Tesco).
After listening to what he presented, a realisation came upon me. I realised one of the factors how he reached where he is at now so quickly. That said, I am only guessing his age based on appearance. Definitely young. I do wonder..if there are any other similar paths. Not impossible given current directions of surgery here - as far as I can understand and see (its not very much). Have I piqued your interest into the topic presented yet? It was on laparoscopic colorectal resection. For curious minds out there, first performed in the US of A in 1991 (his data, I never double-checked).
One thing mentioned is FOB testing and F/U with colonoscopy to detect colorectal ca. Ironically, I just came across a recently published article (published 10 days ago) that colonoscopy only reduces the cancer risk in the left side. That's only one paper. I did not do, nor am I planning to, read up on other related publications. Right (pun intended), I'd like to say that thoughts about how much in depth that a medical student has to know are cropping into mind now. Its fascinating, but it would not help me pass the exams. And I am concerned. Sigh. However, I shall leave that for another time.
P/S: I also had another amazing teaching from another colorectal surgeon - on hernias. From embryology right up to complications! Wicked! And he has not performed a hernia op in the past 15 years.
P P/S: I managed to answer a question from another-nother surgeon and he mentioned that no one had managed to answer that particular question in the past 10 years! Woop-woop! Credits to me again. Little boosters in order to proceed with life that I so direly need. =DDDD
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Chaff and grain
There are times when we feel alone, at a lowly illuminated corner, our shadows barely visible against the dusty gray cemented wall, where we yearn for a channel to express our feelings to another soul. Yet, it is a seek for that soul-ful one, the person who would be able to stretch out with reasonable effort and means to do so. The comforting spot under his breath, and the reassuring thumping of the chest.
Where can one find such a reclusive safe haven? You want to tell it all our, pour it all out and leave behind nothing but complete emptiness. You want to let the untold you have been holding so close to your chest it is eroding away what's there. Yet, misconceptions and misinterpretations happen so often, too often, that you rather let that happen.
One cannot overlook the fear of being misunderstood
One must not overlook the tragedy of it if it happens.
This is a beautiful set of words that I came across back a very long time ago..:
Oh, the comfort -
the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person-
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,
but pouring them all right out,
just as they are,
chaff and grain together;
certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them,
keep what is worth keeping,
and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.
-Dinah Craik-
Where can one find such a reclusive safe haven? You want to tell it all our, pour it all out and leave behind nothing but complete emptiness. You want to let the untold you have been holding so close to your chest it is eroding away what's there. Yet, misconceptions and misinterpretations happen so often, too often, that you rather let that happen.
One cannot overlook the fear of being misunderstood
One must not overlook the tragedy of it if it happens.
This is a beautiful set of words that I came across back a very long time ago..:
Oh, the comfort -
the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person-
having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words,
but pouring them all right out,
just as they are,
chaff and grain together;
certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them,
keep what is worth keeping,
and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.
-Dinah Craik-
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Pecahan keheningan malam
Suatu ketika dahulu
Di mana hati and jiwa gembira selalu
Tidak mengira masa dan waktu
Tiada keresahan tiada kesusahan
Kenangan mencetus rasa rindu.
Kini, masa kian berlalu
Keresahan bertambah isipadu
Jiwa tiada lagi dalam ketenangan
Mengapa masa berubah sebegitu
Bagaikan merpati yang terbang bebas
Mencecah keputihan langit awan gebu
Memantul cahaya sinar matahari terik
Yakinku akan kebolehnnya tidak serik
Segala pengalaman dan perjalanan dalam hidup ini
Terpahat di ingatan dalam diri
Segala selok belok dan rentasan yang bakal dialami
Dengan tekad dan harapan, kan ku tempuhi
Semoga impian di hati kan ku kecapi
Di mana hati and jiwa gembira selalu
Tidak mengira masa dan waktu
Tiada keresahan tiada kesusahan
Kenangan mencetus rasa rindu.
Kini, masa kian berlalu
Keresahan bertambah isipadu
Jiwa tiada lagi dalam ketenangan
Mengapa masa berubah sebegitu
Bagaikan merpati yang terbang bebas
Mencecah keputihan langit awan gebu
Memantul cahaya sinar matahari terik
Yakinku akan kebolehnnya tidak serik
Segala pengalaman dan perjalanan dalam hidup ini
Terpahat di ingatan dalam diri
Segala selok belok dan rentasan yang bakal dialami
Dengan tekad dan harapan, kan ku tempuhi
Semoga impian di hati kan ku kecapi
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Running
I wish to run into the sea,
stampede against the fine sand of the beach,
then the compact solid sand as approach the coastline.
I want to run into the waters as I peel my outer clothes away,
then go against the crashing waves and let the resistance show its presence.
I want to feel the splashes of water droplets against my body or spitting on my face or stinging my eyes.
I want my taste buds to tingle with natural salts and olfactorise the smell of the sea;
all these when I set myself free..freeing all senses,
letting them take their form.
I haven’t been into the open waters for way too long. 5 years now. I have only managed to come close to it, to see it, to hear it, but never to feel it. And sometimes, you need to embrace it all to actually feel its embodiment.
Would you like to let yourself go, and join me, in what some may think as a crazy intention? Then again, what’s so absurd about something so simple such as running into the sea?
Instead of asking why you should do it? Why not..
When you're running, you're running away from something, yet towards another thing or you could be doing both for the same thing
stampede against the fine sand of the beach,
then the compact solid sand as approach the coastline.
I want to run into the waters as I peel my outer clothes away,
then go against the crashing waves and let the resistance show its presence.
I want to feel the splashes of water droplets against my body or spitting on my face or stinging my eyes.
I want my taste buds to tingle with natural salts and olfactorise the smell of the sea;
all these when I set myself free..freeing all senses,
letting them take their form.
I haven’t been into the open waters for way too long. 5 years now. I have only managed to come close to it, to see it, to hear it, but never to feel it. And sometimes, you need to embrace it all to actually feel its embodiment.
Would you like to let yourself go, and join me, in what some may think as a crazy intention? Then again, what’s so absurd about something so simple such as running into the sea?
Instead of asking why you should do it? Why not..
When you're running, you're running away from something, yet towards another thing or you could be doing both for the same thing
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Defintions..
Love should not be defined
It should just be experienced;
Read and make less between the lines,
Such is this minute thought of mine.
Am in the library of a district hospital, listening to my playlist of music after changing some settings on the computer, something which I ought not to do. Am away from the bustling small city of Cardiff, away from the comfort of my own room but probably for the better since heating here is more assured. The snow fell heavily over the past week.
I have been having erratic sleeping hours, going to bed at 6pm and awakening at 2am unable to fall back asleep. I saw the snow falling that morning, white specks trickling from the sky gently descending and with a fluffy landing amongst itself. The views were absolutely stunning. Everywhere was lavishly simple. Purely Mother Nature - well, let's neglect our acts of global warming for a while here. It was such an amazing experience to be able to sink my feet into 10inches or so of fluffy icy snow. I wish there were people around me so we can mess about together. =) Instead, I called home and messed about the pristine snow. I wasn't really alone.
I do hope that the snow will still sparkle and be thick when I am together with some friends in our own privacy to do some crazy stuff. I don't think that there will be very many chances left to go crazy with snow - not at this amount, nor at this age. There are certain things that we can only do in our 'youth'. I believe this is one of them. Can you imagine a 30year old making snow angels?! Well, you could, if you have a kid. How ironic isn't it? That you can be a kid again when you have a kid. =)
The week's been pretty much like every other placement. I have changed a bit in the wards, but no where near some whom I admire and look up to. I should be more worried about the exams, but there is a niggling feeling in my heart which I find hard to eradicate. Temporarily masking is what it is, temporary.
However, something special did happen today. The 'Grand Round' today was rather different. It was given by Professor Saunders and it wasn't a case presentation nor a research project. It did involve medicine, medical students, doctors, patients and human values. It seemed as though it was a 'goodbye, thank you, I'm about to retire' kind of talk. It lasted for a good hour or so, which I enjoyed very much, but more so, appreciated every minute of it. I hope that you have experienced a talk which have inspired and motivated you as I have. On this occasion, it was a timely and aptly one. It was like a booster dose of positivity, a ray of light in the cold icy month of january, the bloom of a long awaited bud. These talks are getting harder and harder to come by with age. When I was younger, I found some which did not make sense, but as I grew up but still foolish and naive, I gradually heard more sensible ones. College was the first time I truly appreciated and embraced these small but powerful jets of inspiration given by my class tutor. This occured sporadically and I wish I had recorded some and play it back now! In tertiery education and with time these become more pronounced and valueble. Again, another 'youth' thing!
That said, do you realise how much more appreciation you give when something is given by someone you respect and know of his/her background? Say, Me vs Prof Hawkings with the same script, who would have a larger impact in the presentation?!)
We all have our coping mechanisms when we feel low. Sometimes, it is our friends, sometimes, it is our family, sometimes, it is our loved ones..but what happens if our friends are busy? Or we are not well attached to our family? Or the loved one isn't present? And there is a boundary with our colleagues? Who can you turn to? If you're feeling that out there, let it be known you're not alone.
Its okay to feel down sometimes.
Postscript: Oh, ever experienced how funny it is when you answer a phonecall when you're asleep?!?!
It should just be experienced;
Read and make less between the lines,
Such is this minute thought of mine.
Am in the library of a district hospital, listening to my playlist of music after changing some settings on the computer, something which I ought not to do. Am away from the bustling small city of Cardiff, away from the comfort of my own room but probably for the better since heating here is more assured. The snow fell heavily over the past week.
I have been having erratic sleeping hours, going to bed at 6pm and awakening at 2am unable to fall back asleep. I saw the snow falling that morning, white specks trickling from the sky gently descending and with a fluffy landing amongst itself. The views were absolutely stunning. Everywhere was lavishly simple. Purely Mother Nature - well, let's neglect our acts of global warming for a while here. It was such an amazing experience to be able to sink my feet into 10inches or so of fluffy icy snow. I wish there were people around me so we can mess about together. =) Instead, I called home and messed about the pristine snow. I wasn't really alone.
I do hope that the snow will still sparkle and be thick when I am together with some friends in our own privacy to do some crazy stuff. I don't think that there will be very many chances left to go crazy with snow - not at this amount, nor at this age. There are certain things that we can only do in our 'youth'. I believe this is one of them. Can you imagine a 30year old making snow angels?! Well, you could, if you have a kid. How ironic isn't it? That you can be a kid again when you have a kid. =)
The week's been pretty much like every other placement. I have changed a bit in the wards, but no where near some whom I admire and look up to. I should be more worried about the exams, but there is a niggling feeling in my heart which I find hard to eradicate. Temporarily masking is what it is, temporary.
However, something special did happen today. The 'Grand Round' today was rather different. It was given by Professor Saunders and it wasn't a case presentation nor a research project. It did involve medicine, medical students, doctors, patients and human values. It seemed as though it was a 'goodbye, thank you, I'm about to retire' kind of talk. It lasted for a good hour or so, which I enjoyed very much, but more so, appreciated every minute of it. I hope that you have experienced a talk which have inspired and motivated you as I have. On this occasion, it was a timely and aptly one. It was like a booster dose of positivity, a ray of light in the cold icy month of january, the bloom of a long awaited bud. These talks are getting harder and harder to come by with age. When I was younger, I found some which did not make sense, but as I grew up but still foolish and naive, I gradually heard more sensible ones. College was the first time I truly appreciated and embraced these small but powerful jets of inspiration given by my class tutor. This occured sporadically and I wish I had recorded some and play it back now! In tertiery education and with time these become more pronounced and valueble. Again, another 'youth' thing!
That said, do you realise how much more appreciation you give when something is given by someone you respect and know of his/her background? Say, Me vs Prof Hawkings with the same script, who would have a larger impact in the presentation?!)
We all have our coping mechanisms when we feel low. Sometimes, it is our friends, sometimes, it is our family, sometimes, it is our loved ones..but what happens if our friends are busy? Or we are not well attached to our family? Or the loved one isn't present? And there is a boundary with our colleagues? Who can you turn to? If you're feeling that out there, let it be known you're not alone.
Its okay to feel down sometimes.
Postscript: Oh, ever experienced how funny it is when you answer a phonecall when you're asleep?!?!
Sunday, January 03, 2010
2010
Happy New Year~
May the new year bring good tidings and blessings for all of you out there.
There'll come a time when we'll all grow
Some fast, some slow;
In the haste of it all never forget,
To be kinder, nicer and without regret.
I might not be smart,
I might have lost my strength,
I might have been crushed,
but I am glad I took that leap of faith
Even if my landing was hard.
For had I not embraced it I wouldn't have known
The extent of which I could have grown.
To you, all the best
I am sorry for all that has happened;
It wasn't what I wanted,
It didn't go as planned.
It was too much into the future
It was all so rushed.
And lost track of the present.
It was all for this year..
And it could have been perfect;
What could have been, and would have been,
And should have been.
Yet all's left is defect.
It has been a year, a year of disbelieves.
May the new year bring good tidings and blessings for all of you out there.
There'll come a time when we'll all grow
Some fast, some slow;
In the haste of it all never forget,
To be kinder, nicer and without regret.
I might not be smart,
I might have lost my strength,
I might have been crushed,
but I am glad I took that leap of faith
Even if my landing was hard.
For had I not embraced it I wouldn't have known
The extent of which I could have grown.
To you, all the best
I am sorry for all that has happened;
It wasn't what I wanted,
It didn't go as planned.
It was too much into the future
It was all so rushed.
And lost track of the present.
It was all for this year..
And it could have been perfect;
What could have been, and would have been,
And should have been.
Yet all's left is defect.
It has been a year, a year of disbelieves.
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