The Past

At this moment, I should be studying for my Head & Neck Anatomy Exam. Yet, I had flashbacks from the past. Memories which haunt me until today.

The most heart-wrenching one would be the 2006 World Cup Souvenirs which got 'lost' in the post. Yeah, Royal Mail is horrible!..and so as to not be bias, it could just as well be Post Malaysia's fault! I can't help but to conclude that either the post office at Crwys Road, Royal Mail or Post Malaysia had unscrupulous workers. Scumbags. Not only it ripped my heart into shreds knowing that those souvenirs were a gift for my dearest younger bro, but it also generated fiery after paying so much for postage as well. Disappointment, anger, guilt ..all rolled into a lethal combination for a turbulent sea of emotions.

Then, thoughts turned to a scumbag whom I knew. Till today, the vengence and hatred is still deep-seated in me. I wouldn't say that I am the type who likes payback. I'd rather forget the whole thing and drop it. I wouldn't want to waste my precious time with such unworthy events. But this is the case where thou shalt not forget easily, a case where revenge would truly be a dish best served cold. Yet, I do blame myself too. I guess this is rather a deep cut because I made myself so gullible. It opened my eyes to how a sly and vicious person can exist in mankind. It also painted yet another ugly portrait onto one particular field/profession that I already have a (below) negative perception of. *cheers sarcastically*

I learnt, I grew.

It also popped into mind on how I can like and hate a person at the same time. Perhaps "hate" is not the right term since I still do hold high regards for this person. Perhaps it's just me eager to ignore all negative thoughts and remembering the good bits. I can't help but to look on the brighter side of things. Afterall, with all shaft and grain, I still strongly believe in the goodness of this person despite having being disappointed upon and caused a tiny crack in my heart. Could it be karma? What goes around comes around..? To realise out of the blue, so suddenly, so surprisingly, so unrealising and never imaginable that you might have tripped into the pool of love. Overwhelming indeed it was...but I would rather have not as it was never meant to be. Not on my side, neither on the other.