My 2008: Amazing ...holidays

Snippets of the best of 2008.



HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008



HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR 2008


INTERMEDIATES - DONE!


EASTER CYCLE WITH BUNCH OF NEWLY MET AND MADE FRIENDS =D


MY DEAR DEAR FRIEND - HAPPY BIRTHDAY BTW!



THE NEWCASTLE DEARIES :)




MY FANTABRILLOUSZING SUMMER ... NO WORDS CAN DESCRIBE. *_*


BACK TO SCHOOL


MERRY CHRISTMAS!



A YEAR ENDING, OR A YEAR BEGINNING? THIS STRUCTURE DEPICTS IT ALL. :)

A flurry of alphabets.

Winter has made its presence remarkably felt this year.
There is only a day left for 2008. We shall soon be ushering 2009.
I have not placed up an entry for a few weeks now.
There is lots in my mind, especially emotions, that I would like to pitter patter out on my keyboard. Yet, I do not think that I have the sanity and am not thinking logically enough in order to do so. I am in a mess. Always have been at the year's end; but more so this year after what happened in recent weeks, and happening now.

I could not resist the temptation of only putting up an entry when I know what I would like to type about. Currently, it really is a flurry of words and sentences which my mind is processing.

I have been writing, fiddling and meddling about with stuff. Not so much drawing or sketching or painting, which I have done so in the past - boy, do I miss doing artwork; and then get angry and annoyed because I suck in art. And no thanks, this has been reminded time and time when I visit the Europe's capitals of art.

Anyway, back to what I said in the previous paragraph. I've been doing all those except for typing. Been browsing through website, reading nonsensical stuff, drifted away by news...I am really, just in a state of blankness.

Before I write up what's bothering, I shall just blog about what happen most recently. I went to celebrate a friend's birthday bash, which was really good. Nice to see people. Yet, felt a little disconnected. Perhaps it was the late-night factor. I hope it was anyway.

Then, I just got back from a short winter trip with 2 lovely friends and L~. That was nice. Sadly, I got a little cold, and might have caused L~ to be ill at the moment..when he should, really, be enjoying the best ending for 2008 with his badminton mates in Holland. I feel awful for causing him to be so ill. Yet, I am also clouded by an awful feeling of being alone...to end 2008. and to see 2009.

Should be doing work, prepare for exams. Not happening. My emotions are flurrying. Negative ones mostly. Yet, its really just fleeting and flurrying. Nothing in particular which are having a significant impact. The impact is the flurrying feint negatives. I hope you understand what I am trying to describe.

Have you ever...
Love somebody so much, yet still able to feel hurt;
Feel crushed when you can't make him smile and laugh as much;
Admire who he is when he's around his friends, yet;
Wonder why he isn't showing this side of him when he's with you;
Ponder on this confusion..and feel alone, lost.

There is a song i would like to post here, but its an old song, and i can't seem to find a clear clip to it.

Its called Open arms - by Journey.
Lying beside you, here in the dark
Feeling your heart beat with mine
Softly you whisper, you're so sincere
How could our love be so blind
We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are by my side
So now I come to you, with open arms
Nothing to hide, believe what I say
So here I am with open arms
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me
Open arms
Living without you, living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you, wanting you near
How much I wanted you home
But now that you've come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay.

Journey - Open Arms
Uploaded by jpdc11

People

I find human beings very intriguing. Just their actions and character alone have several fields of studies.

I think I need to learn how to not feel too bad if I cannot please everyone, especially if it is not my problem. The only thing I am handicapped with is how to approach someone who have ill thoughts/feelings towards me with all good intentions to patch things up. Worse still is when it was never my doing, and that this other person has a 'unique' personality. Why should I bother or let it affect me if it never was my fault right? It just affects me when I see people not happy about things or with myself. Therefore, I need to learn how not to be affected by the way some people are, and can be.

Really, it was not my doings at all. It's like you did absolutely nothing (with emphasis) and some people can just choose to be moody with you just because that's how they feel - moody!

At times, one can get pretty annoyed and angry and try to contain as much as possible so that whatever silly things which are going on would not be progressive.

Gosh, even typing this out is not very smooth.. I find it difficult trying to phrase sentences and choose apt words when it comes to matters like this. I do not want to impose an inaccurate impression, but at the same time, I am quite a direct person. That said, I respect, accept and appreciate directness towards me if anyone has this type of character.

Unlike some, I'm no hypocrite. Not this time at least.

----
Unrelated song post:

The week that has been...

It has been a fruitful, fun-loaded weekend.

I am absolutely knackered now, with a slight throbbing headache, most probably due to the icy cold exposure of my head everyday on my way to class and can potentially just fall asleep right now.

Yet, I have this inclination to blog since I have not put up a written post in a while.

The past 2 weeks have been "catching up" week, since we have this thing called specialist clinical contact and therefore based in Cardiff. Met up with quite a few friends.

2 weekends ago, I was reunited with my 2nd year housemate from Germany. She was in Cardiff for a term, then off to Spain last year, and she's back in Germany now. She was around for a visit! And of course, she had to come back to Cardiff. It was nice to meet her. I do wish that we had more time to spend together and the opportunity to know each other more. Speaking of which, I've gotta go bug her for the few photos that we took a fortnight ago!

Then, last weekend, another housemate from 2nd year came down to Cardiff too. It was really lovely to have met up, and in a bigger group too. (I do not expect readers to remember that I have blogged about my housemates in 2nd year, and they comprised of 8 people!). It brought back many many sweet memories, and I do miss those times. I do not feel as engaged with friends as I have been in the past. Time is catching up isn't it? Ever realised that you're not as close with many friends as before; but instead close with only a few? Or perhaps it is me being anti-social. I seem to have been stunted with my growth - mentally, maturity of mind, behaviour wise.

Today, I went to see my housemate from 1st year! She's a wonderful person and I enjoy her company to bits. However, as we haven't been meeting up as frequent as we like, it does feel a bit funny on where to catch up from. I wish we had more time to get comfy...

Last night, I was deadly tired and went to bed just before 10pm... BEFORe 10pm! That's a record. And L~ called me after his badminton training. I was so fast asleep that when I woke up this morning, I did not have any recollection of the phone ringing, let alone speaking to him. I woke up this morning, thinking that he did not call or did not even leave me a message. Hehe. Apparently, I did pick up the phone, mumbled some stuff (not to be revealed here) and placed it back at the right spot on my filled shelf! My unconscious brain / coordination is amazing.

Ok, getting really tired now, and a long day ahead..and plans for work tonight seems to be failing, as usual. Yet, when I am more alive, I am an internet addict, and tv-drama-streaming addict.

All I really want now is for someone to teach me a bit on photography (I'm hopeless) and teman (I think the word sounds and feels nicer than 'accompany') me for a nice stroll somewhere and having similar interest, take photos together...and admire them at the end of the walk, at home, in bed, with a warm flask of hot chocolate, giggling away at silly shots.

*Perhaps I am dreaming*

The weather today...

The weather, as how I feel ....

A song

20th November

The touch of a frail elderly woman in post-op pain,
Talking to me, giving me her best smile to encourage me;

The little girl who giggles and runs about,
She waves at me, and baby talks to me in French, unknowing that her baby brother might not be doing too well;

The eager, excited yet nervous doting dads,
Whose tears of joy make you quiver in awe;

The picture of a family,
Painting a scene of fullness, and completion;

Like the baby brother of the french belle,
who made it through the week, being discharged,
and I so happen was at the hospital's exit,
being recognized, wishing them well,
and saw the family leave, complete.

Then, there is the woman, who has been through it all,
Exuberating the strength, of being one.

I live for moments like these.

Shu Li’s gotta endure and strive!

Taking each day, as it comes along, as it is, and being thankful, that I have, a day to live by, a day to live for, and a day to reflect on yesterday.

thanks..

Thanks so much for the encouraging and motivating comments John and Jas. :)

I actually did 'refresh' myself each and every day, hoping that the next day, or week, would be better...and it was only to be let down ..again. That was why I am rather frustrated over things. So here goes:

*Shu Li has just clicked the ~refresh~ button in herself*

19th November

It has been a very very rough past 5 weeks for me. This placement has been the worst I have ever experienced in medical school. I started off with the most positive of feelings and inspired to do something good and experience something even better. After all, obstetrics and gynaecology are what I think, the essence of mankind. The care of the woman, her wellbeing, and that of her precious one has always been held at a high esteem by myself. I do still think that the people in this field are one of a kind. It is akin to being a consultant in two different fields. It covers the medicine and the surgical side of it. The very youngest you would ever see, and the elderly too. An “all-rounded” unit as I see it. Truly captivating all of doctorhood.

Yet, here I am, expressing that I had a bitter time. So many negatives happened to me, day after day, week after week. It was only me, and no other colleagues experienced the same way I did. Of course, there were major differences in my timetable and scheduling compared to theirs, but just the fact that I was contradicting 6 other people’s experience, even I doubted myself. I wondered if the roots of the problem were from me. I was pretty sure it was not me in the first half, but now, I am not too sure anymore. Was I able to adapt myself completely? I lacked a lot of confidence, and knowledge too. I am scared out of my wits most of the time. I failed to concentrate due to the numerous ‘complications’ that cropped out throughout my placement.

I would have an examination this coming Friday. I am very worried, to the extent of even considering emailing an emergency mail citing the extenuating circumstance that I am going through. I do not think I am doing okay.

But, if the worse must come, so be it.

All about you..

Medicine really takes the life out of me.

I wish I could do so many other things, besides trying to cope with medicine. If there is a will, there is a way, I know. But some things are fixed, there are the variables and non variables. If I were to be super smart, super organised, super talented and super brilliant, it is not a problem. However, I need the extra effort, extra time, extra motivation and extra everything in order to survive and be a better doctor in the future. So, some things need to be sacrificed.

I wish I could cope better, and be active in many things that I enjoy doing, again..

I am envious of those who are so well-rounded, having the opportunities to savour so much of life, stuff beyond studying.

Experience is the best teacher.

the becoming??? noooo..

Am I becoming more "British"? I hope not!!!

I like to have tea and coffee breaks, with biscuits preferably.
I eat whenever I get off work/placement!
I like crisps (that's potato chips for the Americanized!) a tad too much.
I am getting tired too quickly after too little work! (Oops, not all Brits are like that)
I am liking sweet drinks a tad too much too.
I've been eating too little veggies, and fruits (not as though there is much of a variety here anyway).
I'm beginning to see a "spare tyre", and being more "apple shaped". Hope it's just the winter fat pad..and will shed itself off! *wishful thinking, i know!*


On another note, I miss my friends.

*Rolled eyes*

I am currently on placement, not too far away from cardiff, but inconvenient enough to travel daily. Here I am, at the library, with stupendously troublesome and slow internet access feeling the NEED to put up an entry about this:

TheStar reported a comment made by Foreign Minister Rais Yatim:
"Rais said Obama’s victory was proof that Americans could choose their leader looking beyond the person’s race, colour or creed."

Here is THE LINK

Indeed, as the media reports, it seems as though the Americans have chosen a leader who is not entirely 'white' and therefore saw beyond race, colour and creed. Sadly, our minister forgot to say about our own country, if we can ever emulate such magnanimousity. I doubt it. There was quite a hoo-hah when a non-malay was elected as ACTING head of S'gor State Development Corporation . So many factions had to come out to defend that it is not permanent, and reassurance had to be made that the appointment is only temporary. The ugly side of "Malaysians" showed. Mind you, this is only at a state level! At presidency level? *EYES ROLLED*

What does the future hold for the progress of the country when fairness is blurred?
"Malay-Muslims being the majority would hold administrative positions but the roles and rights of other races should not be denied." ..Yeah, right. What a disclaimer!

I shall add one here too then:
Disclaimer: This post is in no way meant to cause harm and uproar or touch on sensitive issue. If you are affected positively, Thanks!; if negatively, hope you will see the light sooner rather than later and my best wishes to you nonetheless.

Mr J.L

This is the entry that I believe I HAD to put up. HaHa.

Who is the person in the picture previously, and this coming one?




The TEN things you should know.

1. He's not too bad looking =p
2. He loves Cash & Car (not cash & carry).
3. He enjoys food, but not prawns (If I am not mistaken...; which defeats the purpose of liking food in my opinion).
4. He has a flair in the electronics and digital nouveau.
5. He likes pretty girls, [like most other guys - I can't say ALL because L~ will not agree! =)] and I think he charms them quite well too.
6. His latest interest is photography, and he's pretty darn good at it too. His models? See (5)
7. He has a emo side to him too.
8. He's got passion for fashion. He likes to look good-lah
9. He is a great guy, and he's my......COUSIN! But, that's not it. Coming up: No. 10 -->

10. He is the guy.....(dot) XML~!!!!

- Allow me to explain. In the midst of teaching me how to change my blogskin, he commented that .xml was the new format of stuff...So yeah, he is the guy.xml. -


And here's the link to his blog! DISENCHANTED by JL

Coming Soon...

Who is THAT?

Statuses

You find them everywhere.. Chat messengers, Friendster, Facebook.. So, how about blogs?

ShuLy...

...thinks that her boyfriend is hot.

Haha..naik bulu roma adie? =P

It has been...

It has been an amazing weekend.
This came after a disastrous week, which many of my friends here would have had the misery of me whining about it - though it was so thoughtful of them to ask how I was and that they consoled me to look ahead with optimism.

L came down for a longer-than-usual weekend break. An extra day does make all the difference. I don't think we did much. Its always so hard to plan and foresee how the mood is going to be after travelling for hours to get to here. Would he like to kick back and relax? Go about and do loads of stuff? Do nothing? Shopping? Eating? Watch a movie? Sleep? It is always the same answer that I get each time when I ask him about what he would like to do - "Whatever you like to do love". No help in that right?!?!

So, not many activities were scheduled due to the uncertain weather here too. All we did was just walk about town, met some good friends, and enjoyed each others company.

I had the pleasure of enjoying the company of both my first and everlasting love and my current love (everlasting too, hopefully! =P) together! How much more can a girl ask for right!? We played so much that my butt and body ache.

Now, now, don't go thinking sideways!! It was badminton...loads of it!

Gawd, I am such a gullible girl. I can fall head over heels for a guy who plays badminton, and what more, plays it so darn well! I wish I could watch him play competitive badminton more often. So far, I've only seen it ONCE! Too bad I am not much of a challenge. Good luck for the season L~!

As for now, I am such a lazy pig that I wish I could just spend everyday like the weekend that has gone by. I don't want to study!!

Sigh, L being here seems like a dream...

I am very very upset.

Sigh. How do I get rid of all these malignant feelings?
Wish I had someone to turn to, and make things better.

The week has not ended, and I can already say that it has been a crappy week.

Oh NO!

Hari Raya = Lots of good food; lots of santan (coconut milk), lots of cookies - lots of butter and sugar!

Long hours at work = binging, cravings, crisps, overeating.

Stress = snacking, late night hunger pangs, eating disorder - the extreme side!

Oh no!

AARGHHH...

i'm bursting from being furious..!!!!

...........................

there's is nothing more charming that a cool pop and country singer with a guitar..

The boy is very busy...with quite a few non-academic stuff. I, on the other hand, has quite a lot of academic stuff. It seems as though when I'm free, he's not; and when he's 'available', i'm not.

Sigh....

While i try my best to concentrate and keep up to date with the tonnes of work that I should be doing, he's out there probably all merry and having a blast.

Gosh, I feel slightly pressured. I'm sure I'll reach quite a high Pascal value by next term.

The Great North Run

Pic taken from Bupa's GNR website
The Great North Run is a marathon of 13.1 miles (equivalent to the Cardiff half marathon, and most half marathons) and it is the world's most populous (and probably popular) half marathon. It is a run around Newcastle Upon Tyne and South Shields.
This year, if I am not mistaken, there are over 52000 participants!!!!!...And L is one of them! HaHa.

Tomorrow is the date for it, so, Good Luck L~! and congratulations on being able to fundraise such an amount! To be honest, I never thought he would have been able to get that amount since it was a mere 12.50pounds for quite a while and he showed no signs of active recruiting even though i nagged and bugged him so much! haha...sorry baby!

Fund raising is not quite easy especially if you are staying in Newcastle itself. I am sure loads of people from Newcastle and its surroundings would have asked around, especially amongst students. So, yeah, Keep up the good work L!

Hopefully, you'll be able to reach your target by the weekend!!

www.justgiving.com/luketeo

Random photos